The Perks of Being a Junior SHIELD Agent
by GoldenCherries
Summary: Meet Agent Darcy Lewis: Rookie SHIELD Agent, current victim of an undergoing quarter life crisis. Mostly a gen fic complied of Darcy's observations as she lives out her life as a SHIELD employee. Largely a gen fic with ships in the background. Characters include: Steve Rogers, Sharon Carter, Jane Foster, Sam Wilson, mentions of Tony and Thor. Inspired by Stephen Chbosky's novel.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of the Marvel characters, nor is any of my written work produced for profit or monetary gain.

**Summary:** What it says on the tin. This story mainly chronicles the life and times of a certain young Darcy Lewis, newest SHIELD Agent on the block. It's mainly a gen fic that focuses on various characters and their relationships in the background. It's written in a blog format, so if that's not your thing, you probably want to stop reading from now. The fic takes place roughly 8 months after the first Avengers movie.

The main characters I've focused on include: Darcy Lewis, Jane Foster, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson, Jimmy Woo, Maria Hill, Bernie Rosenthal and Sharon Carter. Fans of the comics will probably be more familiar with these characters, but I've tried to introduce them as well as I can to the newbies and movie fans. I only posted this in the Thor category because there is not Darcy tag in the Avengers one.

**AN:** Seeing as this is the first fanfic I've written in about four years, criticism and reviews would be more than welcome!

* * *

**Day One of Blog.**

My name is Darcy Lewis. I'm 22 years old. And I'm a SHIELD agent.

Well, that's being kinda generous with the truth. A trait I'm told by countless cynics in the past that should prove useful in a career in politics, should I choose do go down that path in the future. Right now, however, said path seems a long way away from the Helicarrier, currently over... well, I forget the exact alititude, but it's pretty damn high above ground and totally invisible to the naked eye.

I guess I'm reluctant to call myself a SHIELD agent because, despite the shiny badge that's stapled to my sweater, all I really do is run errands for Jane and help out with the paperwork. I don't even have to wear a proper uniform. Which I'm kinda grateful for, because all that blue Lyrca doesn't seem as though it would be too flattering to a girl of my proportions. And curves. Unlike Maria Hill, who would probably be the top candidate for Cover Girl of SHIELD Monthly. If such a publication existed, that is.

Jane and I are mostly responsible for monitoring and supervising the science-y division that's which has been extra busy every since that Thor and Loki incident that occurred a year ago. Which is to say, Jane drinks coffee, yells out instructions to the minions that surround us and looks stressed out 24/7- and I supply her with said coffee. I also happen to be of the opinion that Jane does not nearly spend enough time with my special friends, Sir Smirnoff and Mr. Jack Daniels, so during particular stressful periods I try to introduce them via caffeine. Works like a charm every time. It's especially funny when Jane is found drooling on her desk the morning after, completely oblivious to the world around her. Jane doesn't happen to think so, though. Oops. I guess I just can't help myself sometimes.

Most of what we do is continue on from leftover work that Professor Selvig left behind after he went on what I heard was to be a 'very, very,_ very_ long vacation'. Unless you've been living under a rock, you've probably heard of the alien invasion that kinda almost destroyed all of New York, not to mention the 80 or so body count over in Germany. Yup. Pretty grim. It's even scarier knowing how close Jane and I came to that sort of danger when Loki first attacked us in New Mexico. We were incredibly lucky to have SHIELD watching over us when Agent Coulson transferred us six states away whilst all the chaos was going on in New York. Jane feels weirdly guilty about it, saying that she should have been around to help out, but the mental image of that freaky looking robot lurching around and blowing up half of Albuquerque tends to make me disagree. What can I say – hero-ing and all that is grand, but I'm more of a pragmatist at heart. (I still refuse to apologise for tasering Thor that one time). If you ask me, I think part of her is just miffed that she missed out on seeing Thor again. I've had a few long distance relationships myself, so I totally sympathise.

But all that doesn't really matter in the long run, because after Selvig left Jane got a call asking her to replace him by coming to work for SHIELD. I still don't know how I managed to persuade her to let me come along with her as her assistant. I think it was a combination of desperate flattery, puppy dog eyes and the ever so reliable 'wear them down' process that eventually worked. Hey, that's how my ex-boyfriend got me to go out with him in the end. Although that should tell you why he is now my ex. Hmm.

Truth is, I have actually only one year left of college. And that terrifies the hell out of me. Darcy Lewis is not meant to be an adult. This has been verified by family, friends, acquaintances, past co-workers and pretty much everyone who happens to meet me. My roommate back in my apartment watches Doctor Who religiously, and although I've never really warmed up to the show (I don't understand their accents) the idea of just up and leaving everything and flying around space in a blue box, just seeing the world over, really appeals to me. The Helicarrier is the closest thing that exists to a real life spaceship, so when the chance came, you can bet your ass I took it. Like my professor at college says: _Carpe Diem._ Seize the day and all that.

The department that Jane and I belong to is the Sentient World Observation and Response Department, otherwise known as S.W.O.R.D. (Yeah, they seriously need to work on their acronyms). It's a counterterrorism unit that deals with extraterrestrial threats, and was set up after Thor's hammer was discovered in New Mexico. I hope that nobody here ever founds out that I still don't know how to pronounce the name of that damn thing. Anyway, it's a sweet deal; good salary, easy hours, weekends off and all that jazz. That is, it would be a sweet deal if Jane ever paid attention to how easy those hours are. Which is _barely ever._ My parents think I'm away doing voluntary work in Naipul, seeing as my internship with Jane is technically supposed to be over by now. College starts up again in two months, but every time I think of it, my stomach kind of clenches up. I don't even know if I want to go back, to be honest. I mean, Einstein was a drop-out, right? So how big of a deal could college be, really? Especially in this job economy. When I mentioned this to Jane she looked as though she wanted to go and quietly breathe into a paper bag, so I never brought it up in front of her again. This is why I think Lena Dunham is the only person that understands me.

The people here are... interesting. We actually kind of never see Nick Fury himself. Apparently this Special Agent called Abigail Brand is the one who's really in charge of our department, although she's almost always MIA herself. From all the photos I've seen, she looks like the sixth Spice Girl that failed the audition. Apparently she's a huge deal in SHIELD, however – an ex-protegee of Fury, rumoured to be his third-in-command right after Maria Hill. And she's only 28 years old! God, I feel like such a loser sometimes.

Our other colleagues (I'm just really revelling in the fact that I get to use the word 'colleagues' right now) include Agent Jimmy Woo, an astro-chemist with like three PHD's and a mind like a steel trap. Then there's also Agent Sam Wilson, who specialises in nanotechnology but is also a part-time field agent who does special favours for Nick Fury on occasion. There's even been talk of him becoming the newest member of the Avenger Initiative. Sam's _26_. Geez.

We've even had Tony Stark drop in on us from time to time to 'oversee the equipment'. I think he really just likes the attention. He's somewhat of a god to all the science nerds over here. Still, if you had told me a year ago that I'd be working for Tony freaking Stark I'd have called you nuts. So all this is really awesome. Almost wish I could send a postcard home or something.

I'm all worn out for the day, so I think I'll stop here. Besides, I think I can see Jane approaching a nervous breakdown from where I sit and type. She's under the impression I'm updating the latest paperwork on Chitauri blood types or something. Oops. Time to break out the Grey Goose. And, by the way, I think it really says something about the human race that even when working for a top secret and super strict spy organisation, people will still find a way to smuggle alcohol into the workplace.

Yours,

AGENT Lewis.


	2. Chapter 2

Day 2 of Blog.

Today has been less stressful than usual. I think it was because Bruce Banner paid us a rare visit to do some gamma work for Fury which took up quite a fair bit of our lab space. I don't know whether Jane was happy about this or not. Jane's the kind of person who's only really happy when she's working. Still, it was kinda neat seeing the famous Dr. Banner in the flesh. Er - as in, the normal, human pink flesh. Not so keen on meeting him in the angry, green and enraged flesh.

I guess you're under the impression that the members of the Avenger Initiative are regulars over here at the Helicarrier. That's not so at all. I heard that even the happy family routine that Stark tried to establish over at what is now Stark Tower was not a great success. It might have even ended with Thor threatening to throw Stark over the balcony after he made a crack about some chick called Sif. Speaking of Thor, there's a dude that I'd like to have a serious talk with. I know he's a god and the future King of Asgard and all, but you don't just do the meaningful kiss-and-stare to a girl and then just ditch her. He barely visits! Jane is definitely not the kind of girl to sit and mope over some dude all day, but I can tell it really bugs her. It's a good thing she's got this job to distract her, is all I can say.

Anyway. Both Banner and Stark are also rare visitors, due to one being a full time superhero and the other an anxiety worn recluse from society. The only 'Avenger' who's really made this a home is none other than Captain America. Steve Rogers. The Living Legend, God's gift to humanity and all that.

Here's the thing about Steve – I mean, Mr. Rogers. Imagine a Labrador puppy. Imbue it with all the best characteristics of the best people you know. Now imagine a Labrador puppy in human form, together with cocker spaniel eyes, the body of John Cena and dressed like an 80 year old war veteran. I don't know how or why, but the package really, really works. A lot. Despite this, however, I don't know if I'm actually attracted to the dude. He's kind of like one of those statues in Rome that you stand at gawk at but at the same time feel totally detached from on a human level. He seems to be too good to be real. I heard that when he found out a group of squatters had broken into his apartment, he refused to kick them out, opting instead to find another place to live. I mean. My God. I thought that kind of generosity only existed in the time of Jesus.

Cap – everyone here at SHIELD calls him Cap - runs a lot of missions for Fury together with Agent Romanov and Agent Barton. I wish I could figure out what the deal is with those two. I don't know whether they're best friends, ex-lovers, friends-with-benefits, ex-spouses, a Mulder-Scully kinda deal – whatever. I keep hearing stuff about Budapest being whispered around a lot but nobody will tell me what that's all about. I guess when you're such a low level Agent as myself, you don't get to have a lot of perks. Humph.


	3. Chapter 3

**Day 3.**

Agent Woo tells me that what I'm going through is called a 'quarter-life' crisis.

"Had one of those when I hit 23", he says, sipping on his coffee that I've brought him and frowning at something on his computer screen. "My fiancée broke up with me, student loans were getting me down, Bush got another term... anyway, took a year off and spent a year in Australia. Got family there and so on. Anyway, eventually I decided to go back in the end and finish off my degree. Turns out that working with crocodiles is not as exciting as Steve Irwin made it out to be on TV." He adds, "I'd rather face one of those Chitauri than ever having to deal with a live alligator ever again."

Somehow or other, we actually ended up having a conversation about our personal lives! Well... I say 'our' personal lives, but really, it's just mine and I basically crowbarred him into it by refusing to shut up about how miserable I felt when I made the big mistake of checking my Facebook account this morning. I can see the regret starting to creep across his face already, but whatever. Jane's not here yet and I really need to unload right now.

"But everyone seems to be going somewhere with their lives except me. My best friend's just started her medical internship at John Hopkins. My sister just got her second promotion at the company she works at. Even my ex managed to get into the post-grad school he wanted, and he's probably the dumbest guy I know after... well, he's pretty dumb!" I'm about as good with analogies as SHIELD is with acronyms. "I mean, what am I doing right n-"

"Kid," he interrupts, "you're 22. You're still a baby, for Chrissake. I know you feel like you've seen it all and done it all and blogged about it all but trust me. Just wait until you have to start paying taxes. Besides, you're working for a top secret spy agent. How many people your age can say the same? I mean, sure, it's not exactly something you can update your status with, but it's something you can tell your future grandkids about, at any rate."

"I will never have kids. Let alone grandkids," I proclaim glumly. "I see many cats in the future. Maybe a helpful neighbourhood Boy Scout, if I get lucky. But kids? The last guy I went out with used the crisis in Syria as an excuse to break up with me. I am so tired of these stereotypes about poli-sci majors! Bitching about libertarians is not exactly on my list on what constitutes effective aphrodisiacs. Jimmy – hey, can I call you Jimmy?"

"No," he says, and swivels his chair around even further. I guess this indicates he wants the conversation to end, but right then Sam walks in. Unlike Jimmy – excuse me, Agent Woo – Agent Wilson is really affable and easy going. We've been on official first name basis since yesterday afternoon. Hooray for socialising at the workplace.

"What's up?" he says. He's wearing a sports outfit and carrying a large soccer bag, which makes me guess he's been out shooting some hoops with Cap. Sam was one of the first to try and reach out to the poor dude after sensing how lonely he was, and they've been fast friends ever since. It's pretty adorable.

"Apparently I'm going through a quarter life crisis," I respond. "Agent Woo has been doing his best in cheering me up and offering me helpful life advice." Sam grunts in amusement, probably guessing this to be far from the truth. "Want some coffee? Jane won't be in until the next half hour or so."

We exchange some small talk over lattes and breakfast burritos. Apparently Sam's setting up Cap with this chick who lives next door to him. They have their first date tonight and Sam's just been coaching him and trying to give him some pointers.

"Her name's Rosenthal – Bernie Rosenthal. Jewish girl, dark hair, green eyes, very pretty, very cute," says Sam. "One of the best glassblowers and painters in the New York art circle. Met her at a Christmas party last year. Anyway, she's a good kid. I keep telling Steve he's gotta get out more and quit mooning over photos and old movies all the time. I went over to his place the other night and it was so goddamned depressing. It's like an ongoing funeral service there. And you should see his face when I told him about Bernie." He shakes his head and sniggers. "I swear to god, the same man who faced down the Red Skull and saved the world from an alien invasion practically pissed his own pants when I told him he was meeting a girl for drinks tonight."

"Well, at least there's gonna be alcohol, right? Always helps." I think of my own awkward dates. It's amazing how just that one little glass of red wine always goes a long way.

"That's the thing – the Super Soldier serum has this regenerative ability that keeps him from getting drunk." He chortles even harder. "Man, I really feel for the dude, I gotta tell you that. But everyone needs a social life, y'know? He finally bought a cellphone just the other day and I was so proud of him I practically had to wipe away my tears." He shook his head and drained the last of his coffee just as Jane walked – no, ran – into the room.

"Big news. Huge!" she says, rather excitedly and manically in a way that makes me worry ever so slightly for her mental health.

"What's up?" calls out Woo, turning to get a good look at her. I kind of suspect that Woo has a crush on Jane. But I haven't said anything about it. Yet.

"Chitauri," she responds. She gets out a pen drive, jams it into the nearest computer she finds and spins the screen around as soon as the data finishes uploading.

"We think they've found a way how to replicate human DNA and assimilate it with their own," she says, and points to a bunch of figures and numbers that leave me cross eyed but the other two in the room practically starry eyed and gobsmacked. "Agent Sitwell was sent on a recovery mission last night that ended up with him arresting a couple that we think are actually Chitauri in a human form. He's interrogating them right now, but we've taken blood samples and DNA scrapes for testing right now." She takes out two samples from her bag and both Sam and Woo are off at it before I even have a chance to take it all in.

There are a lot of things you can say about working at SHIELD, but boring is just not one of them.

Yours,

AGENT Lewis.


End file.
